At times it gets difficult to hold it together and it gets out of hand at the same time and I can't do anything. Seeing everything in front of my own eyes yet can't do anything...seems everything is going against you....makes you feel helpless and you feel choked try hard reaching out for some air to breathe but fail in that. Every fucking thing tries to mock at you as if you are the shittiest thing in the world.
I feel like the word "alive" has lost its meaning. You know you are dead from inside, just a corpse who’s faking that he's still left with few heartbeats. How exactly would you define the word pain? Do you feel suffocated when you look around the world at you? I do, more when I look around and find no existence at all. I try hard cutting myself from the crowd cos they look like.....weird I don't even get the word how they exactly look like? Between coming to think of it does crowd really matters...it doesn't at least to me...but why do they seem running after your life?
Reading this you might feel I am some kind of loner, a sadist, a maniac, a masochist....trust me you might be correct thinking that...I would be more glad being them than being sane. I know and I believe that every existing thing is nothing but sham.